Family Room Makeover :: How Changing My Home Changed My Life
Over the course of 5 years since moving from Sunny California to the Wet-coast, I wasn’t in a great place. Literally. I had a very difficult time accepting where we were living and how we were living. It wasn’t just me being an ungrateful, entitled brat that lost interest in the blatantly un-zen environment I was forced into. It was much bigger than that.
I had a house, but I didn’t have a home.
Starting from about 5 years ago, I was grieving. I was grieving my old life in Los Angeles. I was grieving the babies I loved and lost. And I was grieving the loss of who I was as an individual. As a mom and a wife, I chose a path that was a drastic detour from my old career-driven path, but not so uncommon among women in my current situation. I chose to stay at home, and work from home.
After several moves with a baby, ultimately ending up on an island at the edge of our home country, the question I kept asking myself was this: what exactly is home? This just didn’t feel like it to me.
It was difficult to pin point where the sadness really came from, but I can actually name parts of my house that brought on the sadness – notably, my family room where the blinds were consistently drawn. A dark room filled to the brim with dark furniture, the tv on full blast serving as background noise – 24/7, overflowing with toys and random mismatched socks, unfolded laundry, dried up yoghurt, and dog hair. And yes, it was as gross and as sad as it sounds.
Where I had the worst association was what I deemed as my “miscarriage couch”, where I received horrible news time and time again, or came home from an ultrasound appointment gone terribly wrong, or where I spent weeks laying on after a D&C surgery to heal and cry my eyes out for months (even years) at a time.
Don’t get me wrong – I was incredibly appreciative of this couch. My brother gave it to us as he no longer had the space for it, in spite of the fact that he probably had wonderful memories sharing the wide space with his two growing teens. As we adopted the king sized cushions, we loved how comfy it was and appreciated how it served its purpose. But 5 years later, after the tears have finally dried up – it was time to turn a new leaf. It was time to, as Elsa put it, Let it go…
Little Mama had the most difficult time saying goodbye, as she spent most of her toddler years jumping on this couch, relishing sick and snuggly days utilizing the built-in sofa bed feature, and essentially being a lazybones on her Godfather’s giant-sized Lazy Boy. And to top it off, she’s not a huge fan of drastic change. Just like her resistant-to-change daddy (and no, he wasn’t a fan of giving our home a makeover either… but what he has realized over the years that his wife is nothing short of incorrigible).
That’s when it all started. Letting go of the couch, and opening ourselves to much needed change, became the mantra of our household. Around the same time as our mantra came to be, my birthday was fast approaching. I was still on sad mode, and naturally, George and my friends were unrelenting about planning a birthday celebration. I wasn’t into partying much at that point, but it suddenly dawned on me, what needed to done. I needed to change my life and put this desire into action. And since we were due for a family room makeover…
We decided to ring in a new year of life by having a painting party!
Ten dear friends came over and sacrificed an otherwise beautiful Saturday with their families for a last minute attempt to paint Debbie Downer’s blues away and engage in a full blown family room makeover event. Dressed in their ready-to-work gear, paint rollers in one hand and yummy birthday treats in the other, these girls took it upon themselves to make my house into a home.
Before painting the walls, they wrote loving messages to me, including notes of good riddance to the old. Not surprisingly, I was overwhelmed with emotion, as my community of fellow mamas and loving girlfriends came together in the name of bringing some sunshine back into our family’s life. There was just too much darkness and sadness, in a home that needed to see the light again.
I can barely write this without tearing up, even speaking of it months later. Fittingly, we chose to paint the house, almost in its entirety, warm white. My friend Eleanor, who spearheaded the entire painting project schooled me on the different types of white and insisted that I select a white that was both inviting and pleasing to the eye. It was absolutely perfect, replacing the once lemon yellow and earthy green walls with a fresh coat of bright goodness.
After letting go of the couch, we immediately found a replacement on sale that was the perfect fit for our room. My good friend Alexis, a home stage decorator, drafted me a quick sketch of how we could best utilize our space. Her first thought was to expose the window area and to not cover it up with yet another L-shaped couch, as tempting as it might have been. She was absolutely correct, as the windows were finally going to be cracked open for the first time in 5 years. I chose a chaise type couch that served to provide space for our family, without taking over all the space of the family room. And based on one quick sketch, the ideas just poured in.
Side note: Good grief, I have some incredible and wise friends don’t I?
Week after week following paint day and bye-bye-miscarriage-couch day, I would sell items on Varage Sale and replace them with a new piece that didn’t break the bank, while adding some personal touches to our home.
We love bold accents, texture (especially plush), unique shapes, and functionality. We wanted to accentuate the need for air flow and openness, brightness, and most of all, a feeling of serenity and happiness – two feelings we have been yearning to feel for the last handful of years.
And this is what we came up with – our family room makeover, finally gone right.
Since this was the room where we would spend the most time together as a family, we added personal touches to complete our family room makeover.
One of George’s most admired artists is fashion illustrator, Renee Gruau, whose art embraces large strokes and bold color elements (our top priority details), added the unique and stylish component to our white space. The simplicity and yet blatant style sensibilities that Gruau’s work is composed of, embodies all that we represent as a family. We wanted simple and clean, while eliminating the chaos. That meant simple lines, solid pieces, and soft contrasts and textures. I love texture, so it was a no brainer to add in plush and velour pillows.
Little Mama‘s added touch was our family’s collective favorite – with how she chose to pull the purple and yellow accents from the artwork and opted for surprising bright colors of purple and yellow seat covers and accent pillows to brighten an otherwise sterile room. She was thrilled to have a corner dedicated solely to her beloved ukulele, her own kid’s table for tea parties (yes, we have mommy and me tea parties every 2nd day together #momofagirl), and of course her very own kid’s sized Eames Chair with her choice of white plush cushions. I was a little hesitant about it, but she promised me she wouldn’t drink milk or dark juices close to her chair, and so far, she’s kept to her promise ((knock on walnut wood – there’s plenty to go around).
Finally – my personal touch. I love dusty rose, music and fashion – so between my daughter’s body form, tiny touches of powder pink, and the mini sized LP record coasters – I had elements of Deb filling up the space. And it doesn’t end there – since I’m a work at home mama – work space is of utmost importance to me. But do I really need a desk? Not so much. Do I love binge watching my favorite shows on Netflix while editing photos? Why yes. The one thing I hoped for from this family room makeover was that my beloved laptop found a home since I never had a desk or an office. How cute is my little glossy sofa tray? If that adorable little furnishing alone doesn’t make you smile, I don’t know what will…
Disclaimer – this family room makeover project didn’t come together all at once. Rather, we took our time with every piece, choosing every element meticulously – putting much thought into how it would fare well with our child, and future children, while maintaining our sense of style and meeting our functional needs. Most importantly, after years of spending on fertility care, starting the adoption process, and physical and mental health support, we didn’t have the financial flexibility to just throw our money at all the furniture shops we encountered (though the idea was rather tempting). We watched for sales, bought things second hand (thank you Varage Sale), swapped pieces from our old collection (thanks to big bro and sis in law and their hand me downs) and finally made our house into our home.
As for any changes from a mental/emotional standpoint – I am happy to report – thanks to our family room makeover, we no longer run out the door to get away from the house that brought on so much sadness. We embrace every single moment together as a family in our home. We wake up, pull the shades and let the sun make its way into our home. We can’t help but feel invigorated and positive when we walk into our family room. We feel that daily dose of serenity, that feeling we’ve been chasing for the last handful of years. We can’t wait to finish meals so we can reconvene on our couch, snuggle up to a good book, and eat our favorite snacks (nothing too crumbly or dark, thank you very much), play board games, or just catch up on each other’s latest thoughts.
Our grief is still present, but we found a way to bring joy back into our home simply by making our family room into OUR family room. And we have not looked back since.
What are elements you added to your own home that makes your surroundings, more… you? Do you believe changing your home (particularly a family room makeover) can in fact, change your life? 
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