The Impact of Social Distancing and How to “Feel” Productive at Home

_{How am I supposed to work, teach, support and still feel productive at home?}

Being a work-at-home mom requires a lot of careful planning. However, being a mom of a very busy and creative nine year old, and a rambunctious and curious one year old, throws all of that planning out the window. So my daily planning has been limited to only 3 items tops, on any one given day (but of course broken down into very specific time frames, cuz you know… OCD). The first two items essentially center around the kiddos, their needs, their learning, and their good health. And the third… well… maybe I can squeeze in a little focus on me.

Now that all four of us are home, it is seemingly possible to check off all the long term to-do items on my list, right?

Did I mention I have a very busy nine year old, and a curious toddler?

So – it’s been quite a challenge to keep myself productive during this social distancing stay-at-home situation. But once I figured that if I tackle an item or two a day, and give myself the grace not to expect much more than that – I realized that it is indeed possible to be productive, while keeping my children safe, and myself sane.

Here are some ideas to inspire you to put down that remote control (it’s been a slice, CNN), or give your worries a break and do something for yourself… for once:

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: PLAN IT OUT

If you haven’t already guessed, I am as ADHD as they come. My ideas are endless and overly ambitious on a slow day. So I cannot live without my planner. Even in the midst of  (and especially during) a global pandemic. How else will I remember to stay home? Drink my water? Wash my hands? NOT touch my face? I literally have to write everything down. If a planner is not your style as everything is neatly categorized in your headspace – I applaud you. Your brain is obviously wired differently than mine… so consider yourself very fortunate! But if you’re anything like me, and you need to actually SEE what 3 things and 333 “sub” things need to be done today – then your planner, a bullet journal, heck, a notepad or sticky note – is your best friend. Just write it down.

Since we have no certainty how long the safer at place order will go on, why not just plan day to day, or week to week. I often get tied to my goals and plans for the month or year, and then I kick myself when I don’t meet those goals. So go easy on yourself and don’t think too far ahead. Write lists – and remember, after you brain dump all of the things, narrow it down to a feasible three item list for the day. Anything else on your list or in your schedule, should either support the top 3 priorities and broken down into details (ie: Top Priority: Groceries / Sublist: Start online order, clean car trunk to make room for easy drop, refill hand sanitizer bottle), or other minor items that need to be completed (like returning a quick email to your boss, or finally responding after a week-long drought of texting your bestie). Believe me – your headspace deserves a little wiggle room these days. So make use of that old notepad from your realtor’s office, or that gorgeous dayplanner you purchased with the best intentions 3 years ago – and WRITE. IT. DOWN. Your brain will thank you for it.

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: GET THAT PROJECT STARTED

From those pillows you promised yourself you’d stitch up, or that scrapbook of the kids that you aimed at getting done when they were born… 9 years ago, to hanging photos on the wall – now is your chance. You just have to make the decision to get started. The momentum will follow suit, and I promise you, this will give you that feeling of accomplishment that you have been striving for, only to be placed on the proverbial backburner for years – most likely because you’ve never been given the time. Time is now your friend.

No hands to do this with all the questions being asked (“Where’s my one lego piece for this set mom!” “The audio on my Zoom class isn’t working!” or the famous, “I’m hungry!”) and a toddler leading you by the pinky to come play with him? No problem, do it in bits and pieces, or better yet, get your kids (or at least the one who can handle not destroying your project) to help! Giving them the opportunity to show off a new skill or create something is so empowering for these tiny people’s minds! So let them help.

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: BRING MUSIC INTO YOUR HOME

They say music is praying twice. It’s also the most beautiful of love languages – and we need as much love and prayers as we can get these days. Especially at home. I’ve spent the last few months encouraging my daughter to practice her guitar, and teaching my 1 year old the art of song. But what about mama? I remember when music was my life before the kids came. I spent months in studio and sang for audiences for the first half of my adult life. My kids have yet to witness my love for music – except some old videos on YouTube where I’m rocking piggy tails and arm bands. So upon taking a break from obsessively researching the most effective filters for homemade masks, I made the decision to pick up the guitar and dust off the piano keys. It has since brought music back into the house, entertained the kids, and reminded me how great playing an instrument (or singing a song) is for your soul. And who doesn’t love jumping at the opportunity to embarrass your husband?

YouTube has a plethora of lessons available for all levels and ages, so picking up a new instrument while in the crux of social isolation is not only easily accessible, it’s an absolute necessity. It gives you a new goal, and a much needed variation to your everyday. Fender is offering 3 months of guitar/bass/ukelele lessons for free. Check it out here! All you need is a phone, tablet, or computer. Basically… if you’re reading this now – then you’re good to go! I’ll be brushing up on my guitar, goodness knows the dust was pretty darn thick.

And as always, the best way to teach your little ones the art of virtually anything, is to model it yourself. I know my Little Mama‘s happy place is sitting in her favorite cozy spot by the fireplace taking online lessons from her guitar teacher while jamming out rock tunes. I mean, who wouldn’t strive to be a guitar rockstar, after seeing your super cool mom rocking out some mean riffs in her housecoat?

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: CLEAN UP THAT JUNK DRAWER 

Nothing says productive more than organizing that miscellaneous drawer, or that overpacked cabinet, or that impossible-to-close craft closet. Throwing things out or starting a tiny section of trash or items to donate (remember, you don’t want to add to your list of to-dos by starting a new pile of to-sell items, especially if storage is not something that is readily available). Don’t be afraid to recycle or donate items (to drop off responsibly LATER on, of course) that no longer add to your life.

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: PURGE THE TOY ROOM 

Really, any room will do. But you know the room with the most toys is well… the room that needs the most upkeep. The room that has too much. The room that is constantly going through a state of cleanliness to a state of pure chaos.

Maybe it’s time to streamline, make a donation pile for your friends’ new little babes, and make room for the incoming toys that your little ones will inevitably be receiving for birthdays and Christmases to come. Bonus points, if you create a container system and find creative ways to convince loved ones to stop buying your kiddo more toys. Extra bonus points if every toy has an assigned spot hidden neatly in your play area that your kiddo can put away themselves! Now THAT’S productivity doing its magic.

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: PURGE THE WARDROBE

This is the perfect time to break into spring cleaning mode. Time to revamp that warddrobe and free yourself of the 30 belts, 25 ripped socks, and 800 scarves that you haven’t worn or have completely forgotten about. It’s a beautiful feeling to make space, regroup and consolidate, not necessarily making room for more, but to create more air flow between items and categories. And who needs this much stuff anyway? I’m finding I have lived a life of overabundance mostly due to my sentiment with “stuff”. Hint: We should all stop what we’re doing and watch “Tidying Up” with Marie Kondo for some much needed inspo.

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: GET THE KIDS TO HELP

I have been wanting to get things done around the house. Talking to other mamas, most of us are feeling very alone and overwhelmed with all we feel we need to get done. I’ve been living firsthand, the unsurmountable pressure to entertain our kids and fill their home schedule with all that is engaging and educational, coupled with our need to fill our home life with all that is productive and IG worthy. This preliminary adrenaline rush to ambitiously strive for perfection is enough to overwhelm anyone… let alone, an already exhausted, deflated mama. So why not marry the two? I’ve decided that, like a boss, I need to get Little Man‘s ball pit balls cleaned up – so in teaching my 1 year old the art of cleanliness, and the wonder of water, I have managed to check this off my long to-do list. Sure, water is everywhere – but how gratifying did it feel to mark that one painful task as done and DONE? 

Cooking and everyday cleaning with the kiddos is another area for teaching wins. Clean house, teaching moment – everyone benefits.

Got documents to shred? Piles of paper to sort through? A family holiday scrapbook to complete? These are all easy kids-can-help items that you can check off your list as well.

Believe me – if they’re capable enough to navigate Roblox while building houses and adopting pets, all while holding conference calls with their little buddies – they are certainly capable of shredding paper and gluing photos in their own baby book.

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: DELEGATE

I am very lucky that my mom lives very close to us, is bored out of her mind, and loves to sew. So without even a millisecond of shame, I gave her an entire basket of what-nots to work through (don’t worry – I didn’t touch any of the items, just grabbed the basket from its bottom and dropped it off at her door). Ripped fave shirts, pants that need hemming, pom poms on hats. These things have been sitting on a mountain of to-dos, and within a day, were done lickity split by Grammy. And with love too! My dad is also struggling with having to stay home indefinitely, and loves projects that keep him sane and busy. I told him about some of my long term plans of creating work stations for the kiddos, and he was more than happy to help. It gave him something to do, and most importantly allowed him the joy of “purpose” as far as helping me out with the kids, in his own, safe, social distancing way. And obviously a big win for me!

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: WHIP SOMETHING YUMMY UP

I’ve never been much of a cook or baker. But I do love me some good eats. Going to restaurants isn’t much of an option, so the next best thing is gathering up all the ingredients I have available and trying a new dish. I’ve come to realize that I might actually like kitchen adventures, I just never had the time to do it. Well – now… time has been somewhat kind lately, so why not!

Better yet… get your kiddo to make it for you.

Nothing teaches math, language arts, reading directions, understanding social needs and wants, and scientific reactions better than cooking. Wanna be homeschool rockstar of of your neighborhood? Put these screen-addicted lego-obsessed sibling-provokers to work! Teach them it’s okay to wear the homemaker hat every so often. Teach them the skills, try new recipes together, and give mama something to look forward to (hello future dinners that YOU don’t have to cook up!). Trust that they want to help and provide for the family, as much as you want them to. And remember – you never know what kind of aspiring chef will come out of this, simply by letting the kids practice their culinary skills. Staying productive has never been so delicious!

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: LET IT OUT – CREATIVELY

So you know, I am almost never at a loss for words. But if my words start to sound repetitive, I find it very satisfying to release some of my anxious feelings and worries through a creative project. Perhaps a painting, or doing something creatively messy. WITH the kids is a bonus. And WITHOUT the kids is just as glorious. Just let it out in a safe and creative way – and you’ll be surprised at what you’ll come up with.

My creative “let it out” is actually redesigning my son’s room. I’m sewing pillows with my daughter, and hemming drapes, online shopping local businesses, while responsibly washing and sanitizing as their packages make their way into my home. This creative outlet has allowed me to narrow in on the task at hand, keeping my brain focused, my hands busy, and my project to do list moving!

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: SET UP YOUR WORK STATION (if you’re working from home indefinitely)

I know – this isn’t as fun, but trust me mama – facing the inevitable head on, and getting your station set up will help bring some normalcy into the unknown. Try to emulate how your work station in your office is set up, or perhaps a better version. Remember – it’s your space, so get creative. Keep it cozy, but not too cozy that napping is a temptation, keep it appealing so you look forward to spending time in it for the next little while, and most important, be realistic with what your current situation requires. Some of us have to continue watching our kids – so you have no choice but to set up in your kitchen, conveniently located close to where your kids can play quietly, and far enough from the tv so you’re not tempted to join in on the fun. I know it seems impossible. But if this guy can do it… well – so can you.

And you better believe… he has an onslaught of distractions just looming over him on any given day.

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: PLAN YOUR WORKWEEK

You have a lot of details to factor in – like when you’re going to actually get the most work done. First thing in the morning? After the kids go to bed? While you send them to the backyard for some safe social distance play far, far away from the neighbors? During the key hours when their favorite programs are on television? You will need this time to really think things through, so set it up now. Don’t worry if it doesn’t go as planned – you’ll be making tweaks and adjustments to your set up and scheduling ongoing. Again, give yourself the grace to be flexible and go gentle on yourself. No, this is not going to be easy. But it’s doable. Trust me – I work from home, while sharing a computer with my now work-at-home-husband, as WELL as my homeschooled daughter (who I hover over…), and somehow, by some miracle – I find a way to get it done.

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: PLAN YOUR HOMESCHOOL SCHEDULE (or tweak it ongoing)

I think this has been the source of strain for most mamas I’ve spoken to. The idea of becoming overnight educators have either inspired the eager homeschoolers to rise to the challenge and finally teach their kids the way they’ve always wanted to. OR the other end of the spectrum, have caused parents to run and hide away from the world, and their children. Either way – there will be a change, and one never knows how the student or the parent (or their siblings) will respond to this new world of home study. So sit down with your partner and your kids and talk about what you believe would be the most effective for your family. Is keeping true to the structure and schedule of the past few months at school the most effective plan for your child’s optimal learning? Are  you, as their parent and educator able to make this happen? If so, outline a similar schedule and see how it works for you on paper. Or if you feel that your child cannot handle hours upon hours of straight reading, learning, calculating, and the like – do yourself and your child a favor, and trust your gut and break it down to short spurts of learning.

For me – I know that my child is not much of a self starter and needs a good nudge to get her going. Once the momentum is established, I have to watch out for too many breaks and too many transitions. So I’m going to cover less subjects per day, but spend more time per subject. As a variation, I will be setting up a “plan b” schedule that covers more subjects in one given day, with less focus on any one concept. Again, we will never know what will work best with our children until we give all the options a try.

Check out my post on “Homeschooling a Reluctant Learner” for some ideas on how to navigate the seemingly impossible. Meanwhile, #wereallinthistogether

HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE :: CATCH UP

…in whatever you’ve been postponing for the last year – whether it’s your kiddo’s scrapbook from the day you conceived them, or your bills from 10 months ago, or writing letters to your penpals from the good ol’ days when penpals were a thing – take this time to dust off your long term to do list, and scratch off a couple items. I can’t guarantee life around you will change, but the stuff weighing on you will slowly lighten up, and you will feel some of that burden inadvertently lift off your shoulders.

…with friends/family – Forgotten texts and messages? Start responding? And don’t even apologize. It’s better late than never right?

…with your family at home – I can’t tell you the last time I’ve been able to sit down and play a board game with my kiddo. I’ve had ample floor time with my toddler, but life has been so busy with school, running errands, and activities, that I haven’t actually been able to do a “non-learning” game and just have fun with my daughter. So instead of having underlying sneaky plans for her to learn multiplication, or teach her how to spell (all good things, but we’re on spring break, so why not take a brain break all together) – we’re just going to play. Without even knowing it, I’m teaching her the greatest lesson of all: to value time together, find joy, and do so without a care in the world. Check out my post on strengthening your family bond during social isolation.

…with all the above. Really this is the one in a million chance to have a teensy weensy bit of time on your side. Sure, the kids are home, and you may still have to work to do, but being forced to remove some of the external responsibilities, there is a little more time and space you can set aside for something that serves YOU. I know “being productive” seems counterintuitive to the idea of giving yourself that self care. But the idea of accomplishing something as seemingly minor as cleaning up your junk drawer, or learning a couple chords on the guitar, is just going to lighten that mental load you’ve been shouldering for months, maybe even years. So find little opportunities in the day to lighten that load if you feel the need or desire to, Mama! Goodness knows, life has been much too heavy lately.

How are you filling up some of the moments in your day with something productive that serves to benefit you in the end?

Mama…you got this…