Raising an Independent toddler, child, or human for that matter, hasn’t always been part of my M.O as mom. Anyone who knows me well – heck, anyone who’s seen me with anyone’s child, let alone my own, knows that I completely define the meaning of helicopter parent. I am guilty of hovering, following, peeking, checking 30 times over (in a span of 5 minutes), all while keeping as poised and as calm as possible. Yes – I am an Oscar winning actress when it comes to my deepest darkest fears about the safety of my children. Long story…
But this little boy – simply won’t allow for it.
He is as strong-willed as they come. He’s wildly opinionated, demanding, curious, and the fastest moving 17 month old I’ve ever had to chase after (and fail miserably doing so, at that). One could say it’s because he’s a boy. For me, I think he was purposely placed in my life to teach me a few lessons. The biggest one is learning how to roll with the punches.
And punches me, he does. Right in the prefrontal cortex (or wherever those ah ha moments reside).
So part of rolling with it, is knowing that no matter how protective I want to be, I have no choice but to allow him to explore freely and to see as much of the world from his perspective as he can. Essentially, he wants to see and do everything that his big sister does. Throwing him in my carrier works in a pinch, but when time is in my favor – it’s all about setting him free.
Literally.
Instead of making him watch from the sidelines as his big sister learns skills and engages in camps and active playdates with her friends, we decided to just give him what every 1 year old needs…
A bike.
His very own, brand new 2-in-1 Coco Village Balance Bike…
Okay… how cute is this 2-in-1 Balance Bike, right? Coco Village sent us this beautiful new ride to test out and it has given our Little Man such confidence in his overall balance, walking, exploring, and riding.
He even has attitude to go with it.
Outfit deets: Born to Love Clothing Black button down short sleeve, Knuckleheads Clothing Blue Classic T-Shirt
Here are some of the ways we are raising an independent toddler now with the help of his shiny (more like, matte-finished and super snazzy) new balance bike:
1. WE CREATE A SAFE SPACE FOR INDEPENDENCE
By blocking our entry ways to stairs, baby proofing every corner and outlet, and moving furniture around to make a larger central space – we created a space for Little Man to freely ride around the room. I’m able to cook and clean and on very special days, I can actually get some work done. He rides around like a boss, and I’m hands off for at least the amount of time he doesn’t need me to play traffic officer. Until then, I can rest assured that he is playing well, playing independently, and most importantly playing safe. And happy at that.
2. WE LET GO OF SOME OF THE TEXTBOOK RECOMMENDATIONS
When Little Mama was a toddler herself, I went a little overboard worrying about how much my little one ate, when she ate, how she ate. I remember staying up night after night reading up on how to creatively get my child to eat more or how to encourage her to stay put at the dinner table. It only took me her entire toddler, preschool, and early school years (learning in progress) to figure out that sitting at the table, and eating full meals isn’t the only way for her to get nourished. I’ve since let go and learned that leaving little plates of snacks throughout the house for my toddler (and 8 year old) to have easy access to and encouraging them to eat when they’re hungry is just as effective. As a result of letting go of some of my own expectations of the perfect eating situation, my one year old has a healthy relationship with food, is gaining weight like a champ, and loves ALL the food. I mean… ALL. THE. FOOD.
With his bike – he enjoys driving from snack station to snack station happily selecting what he wants to eat, when he wants to eat, and how he wants to eat. Lately, he’s been snacking on the go. And guess what? It’s okay. (Don’t worry fellow helicopters… I keep running and excessive moving to a minimum while chewing. Believe me… I’ve covered my choking hazard bases about a million times over in my head. He’s fine.)
Makes for a pretty messy aftermath – but hey. Happy baby, happy mama.
3. WE ENCOURAGE HIS OLDER SIBLING TO TAKE THE WHEEL
Some of the most brilliant moments of success I have found in parenting and raising an independent toddler, is when I chose to let his big sister teach him. This allows for the development of a healthy sibling bond. It shows my daughter that she is trusted (with reasonable limits) to be a solid role model for her baby brother.
Allowing the two to be together in activities that are fun and physical keeps tension low and endorphin levels high. Win win for all.
Piggy backing on big sister‘s wheels figuratively or otherwise, was no longer working for him, so accommodations ensued. It was time for him to stop watching and start doing. Insert the 2-in-1 Balance Bike made just for his size.
4. WE ALLOW FOR EXPLORATION AND RESIST COMING TO THE RESCUE
This was, and continues to be especially challenging for me. It takes every morsel of my being to not run to my little ones’ rescue with every hiccup, every whimper, every minor complaint. And this goes for both the toddler and my 8 year old. It takes work and months of practicing the skill of holding back my “watch out” “NO!” and “be careful” moments, all of which are my go-to-knee-jerk reactions to virtually anything aside from walking in a straight line. I have kept my gasps and mini heart attacks to myself, and have eventually learned not to react with alarm and mistrust. Now that I’ve essentially exercised the skill of backing off a smidge, I’ve recognized a significant difference in how both my kids (especially my toddler) react to different situations.
The more we allow for him to test out the waters for himself and stop thinking he’s not capable or ready, the more he surprises us and himself with his newfound self-confidence.
5. WE FOUND THE RIGHT TOOL TO ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENCE
Let’s talk about this ridiculously scrumptious little 2-in-1 balance bike. Thanks to Coco Village gifting our Little Man with his very first symbol of mobility and independence from mommy’s tight hold – we now have a little tiny cyclist in our midst. We love how it’s small enough for his size (suitable for 12 months – 3 years with a max weight of 40 lbs), balanced and maneuverable (3 wheeler), and can be easily converted into a two wheeler when he’s ready.
Bonus? It’s so lightweight, I am pretty darn sure it weighs less than his diaper bag – Daddy’s all for it.
As a 17 month old, he’s eager to get around quickly and efficiently – whether indoors or outdoors. And yes – we feel pretty safe on our padded floors to ditch the helmet indoors, but no doubt he puts his helmet on the second we step foot outside.
With its puncture-resistant foam tires and its light weight of 5 lbs, little man can be as rough… errr… curious and independent as he deems necessary.
Raising an independent toddler is not as difficult as it sounds. In fact, since deciding to let go and let ’em learn – we’ve been seeing more interactivity, less resistance, and more of his charming and curious little personality come out. I never realized how much easier it is to gain these little humans’ trust and promote compliancy when you just ease up on the reins. By giving them a little space to breathe, make mistakes, fall down, and pick themselves back up – their confidence skyrockets and it’s a beautiful thing.
I mean, who wouldn’t be confident with this kind of ride that makes them look this good?
What are some of the things you implement at home when raising an independent toddler or child?
Let go and let live,
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DISCLOSURE: SASS & SMALLS WAS PROVIDED WITH PRODUCT AS A GIFT FOR REVIEW. ALL OPINIONS ARE OUR OWN.
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