It’s National Siblings Day and we are celebrating in coordinating outfits and coordinating smiles …
Well… “ish”…
The benefits of having a wide age gap between siblings has been something we have been weighing out since the day I found out I was pregnant for the second time – 6 years ago. With every pregnancy and after every loss, I had to reason with myself why my goal gap of 2 years was just not in the cards for us. In the years to follow, while attempting to bring a new little playmate for my Little Mama from toddler years to early preschool years to school years – I began to see that having this extra time with her, not only gave us abundant benefits – it was downright crucial.
Here are some of the wonderful things we enjoy about our 7 year gap with our two little monkeys.
#1. Perks of a Wide Age Gap Between Siblings :: Baby Gets a TON of Quality Mommy and Me Time
I always dreamed of having a whole team of kids that I can call my own. I envisioned them to be exactly 18 months apart and everything would go smoothly from hand me downs, to teaching moments, to freshly learned parenting hacks passed down seamlessly from one child to the next. Having a 7 year gap has been the exact opposite of that. Nothing is smooth, and nothing is seamless. Yes – I have been able to pass down a couple of Little Mama‘s more gender neutral outfits, but everything else is a new experience. New personality, new sleeping rituals, new body parts. New new new. The years haven’t been much help either – as not only have I soon forgotten what life is like with a newborn, but I am now an older mom with less energy and less time (and way more aches).
However… the benefits of having 2 kids earthside (I’m a proud mama of a whole team in another entity as most my readers know), with a wide gap between siblings, have outweighed the not-so-easy times. Being able to spend quality time with Little Man while his big sister is at school has been life changing. All the wonderful things I was able to do with Little Mama but only for a short time during maternity leave, I am now able to do in spades, or at least until he attends school himself (now that I’m a work-at-home mom). He gets some serious one-on-one time and we are both reaping the benefits. That means more OOTD shots for me, and more baby snuggles for me… err… i mean him.
At the other end of the sibling spectrum – because we don’t have two littles on their feet at the moment, Little Mama not only got 7 full years of individualized attention from mommy and daddy, she continues a good full year of “big sis” attention while we have the hands free freedom of a baby carrier, and not having to run around chasing a new toddler. By the time she is 9 and he’s mobile, she might even be mature enough to see passed the struggles of having to share mom and dad’s attention with an attention-stealing 2 year old brother.
#2. Perks of a Wide Age Gap Between Siblings :: He Laughs at All her Jokes
Sibling rivalry is something that might be inevitable at any stage within any age gap – but we’re finding with this wide age gap between siblings that they seem to have the perfect balance. She tells corny jokes, he seems to “get” them. Since these first couple of years of adjusting from a life of being the only child to having a sibling is relatively fragile (considering she had 7 whole years of mommy and daddy to herself), we find that his interest in her quirky ways is such a benefit to her confidence and self esteem. Little Mama feels important, adored, loved, respected. As an 8 year old, it’s not always easy to find that in peers – so an in-house #1 fan (that isn’t mommy or daddy) might do the trick.
Miss Comedian, your peanut gallery awaits!
#3. Perks of a Wide Age Gap Between Siblings :: It Teaches Both Kids About Tolerance and Reading Social Cues
Being a little guy in this big ol’ world isn’t always easy. Especially when you have an overly smitten big sister 3 times your size attacking you with hugs and kisses 23 hours of a 24 hour day. With a one hour break. Often we have to break her tight hold on him and motivate her with more rewards of baby snuggles for her to agree to let him go. It’s not always smooth sailing – especially for the younger sibling because they really have no option but to surrender to the smothering. As much as we attempt to teach her to manage her impulses – we also find that he is building a tolerance for different types of interactions. Mommy greets him with weird names and butt wipes, Grammy greets him with happy church songs (which he loves btw), Dada greets him with more corny jokes and high fives, Poppy greets him with fun DIY riding contraptions and new purchases, and big sis – well big sis greets him with sloppy kisses and loud screams. Is it always pleasant? Not on your life. Does he build tolerance and understanding? Well, after 10 months of not so gentle lullabies, he learns to cope. He will eventually learn how to fend for himself and work through it, and the best part? He learns that it’s okay to not always be treated like the fragile, helpless little human mommy thinks he is. Building resilience is an added bonus. He may be tiny, but he’s mighty.
As for big sis – learning very quickly about the beauty of broken sleep (not caused by her…), having to leave the playground prematurely because baby brother needs to nap on a real bed, and being able to see that having a baby isn’t always metaphorical sunshine and rainbows (though, in our case, it quite literally is) – has been the best life lessons of tolerance and understanding of others’ needs above her own. She has learned that she has to accommodate to another family member, and to understand that life isn’t always about immediate gratification (or “me me me”). She builds stamina, tolerance for others, and most importantly, patience and empathy for her little sidekick.
Now that Little Mama is in Grade 2, she is exposed to a variety of social situations. Some friends are well passed the L.O.L. Dolls
#4. Perks of a Wide Age Gap Between Siblings :: We Have a Built-in Helper
Having an older sibling that understands our job as caregivers, has been such a gift. I can count with one hand how many times I’ve had to explain to Little Mama what needs to be done to take care of the baby. She simply watches from the sidelines as we go about our daily business. Before I beckon for help, more times than not, she is already standing at the doorway geared up with baby wipes, entertainment toys, Baby Head Protector (yup, we have one, and they’re AWESOME), and of course, coordinating big sis and baby bro outfits because she is a girl after my own heart. She has basically taken on the role of 2nd mommy, and we couldn’t be more ecstatic. Not only is this helpful to mom and dad – it is also a huge confidence booster for our not-so-little Little Mama who has just proven to herself that she is such an important and necessary part of this family. Can’t get any better than that – especially only months after losing the ever-so coveted only child status.
#6. Perks of a Wide Age Gap Between Siblings :: She Has Someone to Play Footsies With
For the past 8 years, Little Mama has only known a life with adults. We run errands, we clean the house, we have adult-ish conversations, we eat food with utensils (or not??). Basically – we’re no fun. Okay – so we’re fun, and she loved it. But having this little brother who is actually willing to do whatever she wants – like play footsies – is such a bonus for her. Any closer of a gap, with my daughter’s “spirited” personality, I’m pretty sure there would be other suggestions and toys that they would have to fight over. Having a much younger sibling has allowed her to be able to set the rules of play even just for the first formative years of their relationship.
All that to say – having the wide age gap between siblings allows my often inflexible daughter to dictate their games… and she loves it. And the best part – these two toy-loving kiddos of mine are at such different stages of their lives, there is virtually no fighting over toys.
… yet.
#7. Perks of a Wide Age Gap Between Siblings :: Matching Outfits Are Even MORE Ridiculous(ly cute)
Oh don’t get me wrong – nothing beats two siblings who are close in age in coordinating outfits. They’re like twins without having the challenges of having two babies at the same exact time (although – having actual twins would be mind blowing amazing too). But when they are closer to a decade apart, it’s like the mini version of mommy and me. It’s not something you see everyday, and it’s darn cute.
Kid Crush USA provided us with a plethora of outfits to choose from and of course with our collection of Slouchy Caps
Proud Big Sis and #1 fan Baby Bro.
#8. Perks of a Wide Age Gap Between Siblings :: Big Sis Shares Her Wisdom Based on “More Life Experience” and Little Brother is Actually Okay With it (For Now)
Another fun perk for big sis is that she is oh-so-wise being that she is more than a handful of years older than her very impressionable baby brother. At least she thinks she is. And truth be told – I can’t argue that most of what she advises her baby brother is nothing less than accurate. In fact, the same words of advice from big sis will be more likely well-received by baby brother than if it were coming from mommy and daddy. Because let’s face it, big sis is waaaaay cooler than those other two. It’s also quite the treat for me to be able to (somewhat) trust my 3rd set of eyes on the baby who is often seen scooting where he shouldn’t be, or eyeing objects to put into his mouth. This is where having an in-house “Big Brother” (or in our case, big sister) definitely has its perks.
Well… let’s see how long this lasts without some resistance…
#9. Perks of a Wide Age Gap Between Siblings :: Our Bond with Our Firstborn Is Unbreakable
Even with all the changes of adding a new member to our once 3-person crew, the bond we have with our firstborn will always be extra special. Why? Because we had a solid 7 years of one-on-one with Little Mama and despite potentially having a hard time adjusting to such a drastic change in the family dynamic, the fact that she had us all to herself for so many years gives us (and her) the confidence that our closeness will never waver.
#10. Perks of a Wide Age Gap Between Siblings :: Mommy is More Rested and Ready to Do This Thang
Like I said, Mama ain’t no spring chicken. Yes, the last time I took care of a baby, I had more energy and less body aches. But that doesn’t mean I’m not equipped this time around. In fact, it’s been quite the opposite 7 years later. Because I knew a life of little to no sleep, and somewhat developed a stamina for such a life, I valued sleep that much more. With a child that can independently sleep (granted, it took a handful of years to get there), I managed to get years under my belt of much needed rest in preparation for baby numero 2.
Having said that… I am practically half asleep writing this post, so a) Don’t listen to me, I have no idea what I am muttering about, and b) at least I only have to focus on one overnight party man at a time (get your mind outta the gutter, I’m talking about the baby, not his father) while big sis is fast asleep in the other room. Win win for all.
Check back with me again during flu season…NOT. FUN. WITH. ANY. AGE. GAP.
#11. Perks of a Wide Age Gap Between Siblings :: It Is A Surprising Bond like No Other
My dream of having kids close in age is just that – a dream. So we continue to accept the reality of knowing that my children may or may not continue to be as close as they enter their preteens, teenage years, and adult years. Here’s some food for thought, however – Because their years are so vast between them, Little Man has the benefit of having his big sister pave the path a good amount of years ahead of him: In schooling, relationships, career, and life in general. Big Sis has the joy of being able to guide her younger brother and teach him the ropes – in all facets of his life, while living vicariously through his life adventures. I love that they have something that they can give to one another throughout the years.
One day, the gap will no longer be there and they will be two adults still holding hands getting through life as sister and brother.
**Side Note:
And just so we’re clear – all of the above perks are completely and utterly applicable to siblings with a smaller gap. This is merely our experience of having a wide gap between siblings, because quite simply – we had no choice.
Although it wasn’t an easy journey to get here, as far as having our two kids with a 7 year gap between them – we love our reality and cannot wait to see their relationship evolve and soar.
Happy National Siblings Day to all families!
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DISCLOSURE: SASS & SMALLS WAS PROVIDED WITH APPAREL PRODUCTS AS A GIFT. ALL OPINIONS ARE OUR OWN. THIS POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS.
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