Several weeks ago, I was approached by a journalist from Norway who wanted to do a piece on Babystylista. It was flattering to say the least, and my immediate reaction was that of enthusiasm and openness. However, upon translating the article and the commentary associated to it, I was rather conflicted. Actually, I was downright offended. First, I was integrated into an article that highlighted mothers subjecting their children to inappropriate activities such as tanning preschoolers in tanning booths, or waxing their eyebrows, or applying layers of makeup at an age where they are barely walking. The backlash of comments were in the vein of “parents like these…” (myself, included), “ought NOT to be parents damaging their innocent children physically, mentally, and emotionally”. I was appalled by the inclusion of my site and my mission, as that is completely far from the truth. To be placed in the same category as such behavior is appalling and completely uncalled for.
But after a few days of pondering, and a little bit of weeping – I realized… I get it. Of COURSE that is how some readers would view my site and my intention, especially if they aren’t regular followers, or parents themselves. At first glance, I would appear to be a mother that spends endless hours daydreaming about how to dress my child, or a mother that depletes her child’s savings account in exchange for dressing her up in top notch designer wear. However, delving deep into my posts, one may actually gather that I am just another mom looking for a good deal. Baby couture, on a baby-sized budget… so to speak. Yes – I want to dress my girl up, down, funky, fancy, cozy, whatever drives us that day. Yes – I want the best for her (WHO DOESN’T?). I believe, if people think I spend a pretty penny dressing my kid in good quality clothing… I’ve done my job. Here’s a little secret my friends – I DON’T in fact, spend a pretty penny, but I like to appear like I do (again, WHO DOESN’T?). Sometimes I don’t spend at all. I could be working with items I’m reviewing, gifts, hand-me-downs (our fave!), bargains, and the list goes on. The fact that I dress my baby at all, shouldn’t be questioned. Don’t we all have to get dressed? Otherwise – that would be a whole other backlash, I’m sure.
So then I realized… I think it’s time I give my readers and some new visitors straight from that article (thanks for the free publicity, by the way!) a little 411 on Babystylista and what it stands for. At the risk of putting my readers to sleep, it’s time I give MY side of the story. It’s much easier to make a list of what we do, and why we do it, that way we leave no stones unturned:
1. I dress my child because we all need to get dressed. Otherwise, nudity would prevail, and that would be messy – figuratively and literally!
2. As a service, I promote businesses, big and small, independent and conglomerate. There are an intense amount of talented designers out there that NEED to be seen, and I like to be the catalyst that makes it happen.
3. I am a mom and I know a good deal when I see one. I want to share this with other moms, dads and caregivers. That way, everybody wins.
4. I want to give my child options. She can wear pink bows one day, blue jeans the next, camo, tulle and lace, a gawdy designer belt buckle, vintage headpiece, cowboy boots, rain boots, oversized shades, sun hats, or a t-shirt and worn out jogging pants. I want her to be okay with anything that is made available to her – what we can afford, what keeps her comfortable, what makes us smile (I mean who doesn’t smile at a baby with a monkeybutt?). I want her to know that style is personal – she does NOT need to get the latest threads that everyone else at her playschool paid a chubby arm and a chunky leg for. She need not conform to the masses.
5. As an extension to the previous point, my girl will grow up being able to determine what clothing (among the variety I have given her) suits her own personal style. I truly believe how a child chooses to dress (albeit a healthy mix of superhero accessories and Mickey Mouse ears) is a reflection of how they want to be viewed as an individual. So if your little man wants to dress all colors of the Power Ranger rainbow, or your little lady wants to dress in her most exquisite princess gown adorned with mama’s pearls, that’s how they want the world to see them at that given time. I spent a huge chunk of my young life being bullied for being different and I somehow want that to be reversed in the next generation (ie: empower uniqueness and individuality in children – and to give them confidence, no matter what they choose to wear).
6. Some parents invest in the best toys for their munchkins, some want to bake with their little ones, some want to out-dance one another in a challenge of Just Dance, and others want nothing more than to build sand castles and lego towers. I may want to play dress up and take a few photos of my little one (and I bet every other parent in the world is guilty of this as well) – but guess what? We’ve definitely had our share of kitchen fun, playing around in the sand, and building with those lego pieces we know all too well! And may I mention – I let her 1 year old rufflebutt beat me at Just Dance EVERY TIME! So no – I don’t spend my precious time off shopping for the latest must-haves and emptying out my husband’s pockets, nor am I painting my toddler’s eyelids with glimmer so I can show it off to all the mothers on the block. Please don’t confuse me with Toddlers & Tiaras. No judgement. It’s just not what we are intending to portray here at Babystylista.
7. Babystylista is a portal to promote ideas for babies and kids globally. We celebrate all of the kids around the world, featuring their charming personalities and unique styles. This allows us to be open to other ideas and not just be limited to what’s immediately available to us. Parents from all corners of the world send me photos of their little ones and it brings such joy for them to see their little one’s featured and highlighted for all to see. We love being that portal for all kids and their families. What fun is playing dress up if we can’t share it with others to enjoy?
8. We’re an online publication that features trends. That includes, and is not limited to, images and video footage of baby runway, high fashion designers, local designers, manufacturers overseas, anywhere we see trends – you will find Babystylista.
9. I’m a stylist. That’s what I do. Hence, Baby… STYLISTA. I style for photoshoots, videoshoots, shows, publications – it’s my job. Shall I assume a tax collector is greedy for money? Or a Doctor saves lives just to be named a hero? Or a Teacher is just a glorified know-it-all? No. What one chooses to do 40 hours (and in many cases, much more) a week will help shape and determine their strengths, interests, and expertise. So if I style for work, why not for leisure? Am I supposed to bring what I know to a dead halt the second I turn the key to my own home? No – I bring some of that knowledge with me. I know children’s fashion like I know my own name. I know houndstooth looks alarmingly fabulous with bright yellow, and girls can indeed wear cargo pants as boys can sport pink. Am I missing something here? Is anyone getting hurt in the process?
Vanity, labels, and all the superficial elements that come into play when fashion comes to mind – is never a priority when it comes to our mission at Babystylista. We dress our children. So what if they happen to be wearing a super cute pair of chinos and a woven fedora? Does that make them any better or any worse than the child they’re standing next to? It just makes them a child wearing a pair of chinos and a woven fedora. Where in this equation is a child being tormented or subjected to the evils of society? They’re just wearing what mama has selected for them to wear, or what dad feels is appropriate to wear for the occasion. It is nothing deeper than that – sorry to disappoint! I’m not promoting looks over health, or prioritizing spending over saving money most of us don’t have – I am just dressing my child… and giving you ideas on how you can implement it for your own, at your own discretion, and within your own budget.
If that’s a sin – then we should just remove all magazines off the stands, turn off all our televisions, smash our mirrors, close our eyes, and hide in our caves (with our loincloths and coconut shells) – because wherever you go, you will see clothing, you will see style, you will see fashion. It’s inevitable. If I choose to have fun with it, and teach my child that it’s okay to be exactly who she is, and who she wants to be in the way she presents herself – then, so be it.
A wise woman once told me – “Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one… Mom and Dad really do know best”.
And I know what’s best for my little girl. Right about now, she needs a good old fashioned cuddle, her monkey, and a cup of warm milk. I don’t know about those people who took the time to thrash what they thought Babystylista stood for, but I know I have better things to do with my time – like teach my baby girl the art of minding her own business.
With love and clarity,
db
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