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My dear, sweet Rainbow Baby,
I write this letter to you as you lay next to me, breathing deeply and dreaming of rainbows, while sleeping soundly in your bassinet.
Before you came into this world 8 short weeks ago, you were just my dream. Despite feeling your movements in my belly, I was still caught up in my own fears and was doubtful I would actually meet you, because everything seemed too good to be true. And here you are, more than just a dream, grasping tightly on to my finger with your tiny little clenched fist.
It was through diligent prayer and unrelenting hope that our family of three, would soon become a party of four. As complete as we appeared to be in the eyes of many, we always felt in our heart of hearts there was a missing piece.
And then there’s your sister. Your spirited, courageous, unapologetically full-of-love, big sister.
She yearned for you from the day she could utter the word “baby”. Far too many times, she held the tiny box of ashes holding her siblings who she only knew as her angels, while clutching on to the ultrasound images that never came to be. Your daddy and I spent years fighting against the odds, making sure she has a real sibling to hold in her arms – one she could call her own. You were her greatest wish fulfilled, and she couldn’t wait to meet the little boy that greeted her from inside mommy’s belly for 9 months.
And then you came. Our living, breathing, precious angel. Our Godsend.
Your sister has been standing on the sidelines, quietly waiting to finally wrap her arms around you, smother you with wet kisses, bursting with explosive love, while staring into your big, sleepy eyes.
With every prayer and with every birthday candle blown, she wished for a sibling to call her best friend, her confidante, her sidekick. You came, and just like that… you filled that void that sat empty for far too long. You are her heart healer, as both of you are to me.
My amazing rainbow baby. Your daddy longed for years to hold your tiny body in his arms while breathing in your full head of soft hair – the hair that much resembles his own. When we look at you, we see his resilience and silent strength, his smiling eyes that often disguises his heartache, that unexpected dimple that uniquely accompanies his charming half grin. We see so much of him in you, his miraculous, rainbow baby boy.
Every single day we immerse ourselves in your presence. Every precious moment we are blessed to hold you – we take a snapshot in our mind, soaking in your every detail:
Your heavenly smell.
Your tiny and familiar nuances.
Your kissable cheeks.
Your button nose.
Your lovely little toes.
We often revisit that memorable and emotional day daddy and your Fairy Godmother Jenn took us to the forest surrounded by the magic of nature, to reveal to us that you were going to be our long-awaited baby boy.
Donned in your tiny felt crown, our much-anticipated little prince is finally here to accompany his big sister at her after-school princess tea parties.
And even in the midst of our joy and gratitude, our hearts continue to beat with profound love for our two boys and two girls and the five other angels that we lost before finally meeting you… Our perfect little rainbow baby.
You have filled mommy’s once empty arms with immeasurable love and joy, and now we can finally say, our journey has led us to this very moment…
A blessed life with my two beautiful living children – my enchanting little girl, and my miraculous rainbow baby boy.
Surrounded and protected by the angels that preceded you.
As they guide you across the rainbow and into our hearts.
My beautiful rainbow baby boy.
You’re home.
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