You do you.
I found myself saying these very words on repeat today, as I brought Smallie to school for her first day of Grade 2.
I don’t even really like that catch phrase to be honest. So cliche, but what’s a mom to advise her little girl who spent most of the summer saying she was pretty much dreading coming back to school?
Lately, I’ve noticed that my daughter’s once very charming and widely accepted quirky personality has been the very thing that has prevented her from being comfortable in her own skin. I mean, she’s confident, marches to the beat of her own drum, and she pretty much doesn’t care what people think… in theory. But at school, life is different. There are cliques, expectations, and typical rules of play to follow – and Smallie is not one to follow them.
Being back to school means that those feelings of rejection trying to keep up with her peers once again, rears its ugly head. Gone, are the summer days of wearing mismatched socks, being received with a big gurgling smile from her baby brother despite the smothering hugs, and listening to the likes of Prince (and all the music NOT in the top 40) without being questioned of her taste. As her parents, we accept and love every ism that is our daughter. But how do we tell her that not everyone is going to dig her love for old cassette tape recordings of Rock and Roll tunes, or her quirky sense of style, or her very… interesting sense of humour? How do we tell her that hugging everyone in sight isn’t always going to be received well?
Simple.
I tell her… “You do you”.
I try my best as her mommy (and truth be told, her biggest fan) to teach her that there is a beautiful balance between being yourself (you do you) and doing what’s right for the safety and happiness of those around her (be mindful and respectful). You want a hug? Find the right recipient and don’t forget to ask for consent. You like wearing what nobody else is wearing? Go for it, but make sure it’s appropriate (and don’t forget to keep it fun). You like music that no one else cares for? Throw on your headphones and let’s walk to beat on our way to school.
Essentially… you do you.
She loves it because for the years I first learned about mommyhood, my attempts at molding her to be “well-behaved” at playdates always fell flat. Well-behaved meant – tone it down, follow the rules, play the way they all play, and pretty much keep the peace. But one day, I smartened up and realized that playdates weren’t for us. Knowing that she would come out feeling deflated, overcorrected, and cheated of who she is and how she wants to be – it just made the most sense to keep playdates at arm’s length. Now in the school setting, of course, rules have to be followed, space needs to be respected, and limits have to be in place. But – does she have to change who she essentially is?
Not on your life…
My little Rock and Roll lovin’ girl, donned with her earphones blasting out old tunes, accessorized with her cassette tape backpack….
…mismatched laces,
…and an overall dose of the sillies,
Little Mama is feeling more herself now than the last two years of elementary school. That’s pretty impressive, considering most people I know (myself included) have a hard time being themselves in most situations. It’s obviously a work-in-progress and will be for years to come, but it’s important to teach this tiny human that embracing her inner quirky is the only way to live life. I am confident if she is true to who she is, she will attract the kind of friends that will embrace the quirky.
Looks like she got the message loud and clear.
Happy first day of Grade 2 my sweet girl. Be you. Do you.
Sister, you do you too…
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**The LOOK:: Want it? GET it!
Smallie’s adorable Rock and Roll Heart and Soul Fringe Top :: Kid Crush USA
Smallie’s adorable Skull Trucker Hat :: Born to Love Clothing
Smallie’s adorable Morse Code Custom Made Bracelet :: All the Sprinkles Shop
DISCLOSURE: SASS & SMALLS WAS PROVIDED WITH APPAREL PRODUCTS AS A GIFT.
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