Gender Reveal Tea Party :: A Story of Hope after Recurrent Loss
We have a little secret to share…
My daughter is obsessed with tea parties. So much so, that for the last handful of years I have been known to host at-home tea parties multiple times a week, with Smallie as my guest of honor. So when our friend and photographer, Sarah Booth of Sarah Booth Photography suggested we announce the biggest milestone for our family of three, by way of a classic tea party with an enchanted forest as our backdrop – our brainstorm session ended abruptly, as we found the perfect plan.
Oh… I forgot to mention. We’re pregnant…
28 weeks.
It’s been 5 gruelling years of trying for our second child – empty pockets, disappointment after disappointment, a long and bumpy road in the adoption process, 9 devastating losses, 4 of them well into our second trimester, all of which remains a mystery. What is no longer a mystery, is the miracle of hope, the generous and loving act of a friend, and the doors of opportunity opening for our family – where unwavering faith meets the miracle of science. A family who yearns from the depths of our hearts to hold a living, breathing baby in our arms and to call them our own. A sibling promised to a little girl who has been praying endlessly for someone to share a pretend cup of tea with. Someone she has been waiting for since she was just a toddler herself.
After 5 years of endless tears, diligent prayer, and refusing to surrender to the inevitable … our dream finally came to pass.
Now that it was time to announce our unbelievable news (I’m still pinching myself to this day), George wanted to do things a little different this time. Gender reveal parties weren’t much of a thing when we were pregnant with Smallie 7 years ago. Not surprisingly, we decided to go against the grain and have the gender reveal take place at our baby shower, an idea foreign to most of our shower guests. Back then, who was crazy enough to do a gender reveal anyway? Apparently, we were (…shocking!). It ended up being a wonderful celebration for us all, as there was nothing more perfect than to share the gender reveal of my first child with a special group of my dearest friends.
This time around, however, George wanted to keep things low key and intimate – for obvious reasons. As a fitting birthday gift this past January – our OB specialist, Dr. Bos (who has been with us on our journey from the get go, bless her heart) gave him the gender of our healthy and active baby accompanied with the best poker face in town. Since opening that envelope with careful precision that day, he has been holding on to this secret from his two leading ladies for the last two months. It was time to let the cat out of the bag.
Or shall we say, let the tower of blue macarons crash the tea party…
Much to our surprise and delight…
We’re having a BOY!!!
Our little prince is coming in less than a handful of months (2.5 months to be exact), and there are no words to describe just how over-the-moon we all are.
Well, my friends, this time… is different.
An angel, my dear friend Jennifer, came into our lives. She knows our journey of loss on a personal level. She too, suffered from heartbreak and recurrent loss, and like us – was determined to keep trying. Her determination left her with a beautiful baby boy. And now, she wanted us to experience the same irrefutable joy and help give us the baby we all longed for. She gave us hope, offering to donate a very sacred piece of herself. She donated her eggs. She gave our family the most beautiful gift imaginable.
Because of her love… my little girl will finally have a living sibling to love.
Little Mama has attended more memorial services than most adults I know, spending many of our family holidays at the cemetery, visiting her angel babies that could have been. She learned of the complexities of empathy at the tender age of 3, consoling her grieving mother without the full understanding of such profound loss.
In her hands, no longer empty, she holds the gift of life. Thanks to our angel friend – a woman who knows of our journey in such an intimate way. Jen’s selfless act of love, brought our family joy. The kind of joy that words alone, cannot express.
We have anticipated and envisioned this moment of finally believing we will have our baby, and feel safe enough to announce it to the world. It didn’t come without its share of turbulence and uncertainty, but I believe it was through these moments of pain and uncertainty that we evolved as a family.
We learned to lean in.
We learned to trust in God’s ultimate plan.
We learned to accept help.
We learned to be grateful.
And we learned to open our hearts to another way.
The three of us cannot wait to meet our little prince in June, and to share with the world, our tiniest and most profound miracle. Our darling baby boy…
I write this post to share with couples and families suffering from infertility, sub-fertility, and recurrent loss – that with persistence, support, and selfless love – there IS hope. What I never realized until now was that it was through this journey of such loss and heartache that led us to Jen, and from this unconditional friendship, we were led to newfound hope.
Captured by the joint efforts and undeniable talents of Sarah Booth of Sarah Booth Photography and Shea Long of Coastal Lifestyles Photography, please enjoy the behind the scenes of our Tea Party for two.
Sarah and Shea, we are so grateful to you both for spearheading this project of love (and kudos to Sarah for that insane Macaron tower of goodness!), and for helping us share our story creatively through the beautiful art of still and moving photography. Check out more of Sarah Booth‘s awe-inspiring creations on her new website, and please be sure to follow her on Facebook & Instagram!
“Follow” us, and “Watch” our instastories on Instagram @SassAndSmalls
“Snap” us on Snapchat @babyStylista (Deb of Sass & Smalls)
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**Our love and gratitude to Dr. Hudson, Dr Graham and all the dedicated and gentle-hearted staff at Victoria Fertility Centre who held our hands throughout the process and ensured that both Jen and our family were given the support we needed to make our dreams a reality. And thank you to the rest of our medical team – Dr. Haley Bos, Dr. Katy Mckintyre, and Rachelle Goulet, for giving us such extraordinary medical care and the hope we need for the remainder weeks as we approach the big day!
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xxx
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MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!! Amen.
Gentle squishy hugs to you Deb! Best news ever 🙂